Happy Anniversary to my sister Corey & her husband Jimmie on 1 year of marriage. I can't believe a year ago today I was standing & watching my only sister get married - what a great day! Corey & I woke up early in our hotel rooms & were texting about what was going on - I thought she wanted some alone time the morning of her wedding but it turns out she wanted someone to go with her to get Dunkin' Donuts and keep too many people from yacking with us in the lobby! :) My matron of honor duties started early! (I wasn't complaining a bit...one thing I've learned with having spent SO much time with Corey for so long, and then her being 2 hours away in Columbus now - I'll take any opportunity to spend just even a few minutes alone with her to chat like sisters do!) Here's that picture we took outside of the hotel that morning - and it's one of my favorites because it's a no makeup, no hair done, not even a shower at this point type of the morning and we just look like we're having so much fun. Great memories like this one, getting our hair done by Jessica, taking pictures, wedding & reception are all just such great memories I'll keep for a lifetime. I can't wait to see where Jimmie & Corey's relationship goes because Richard & I are about to celebrate 5 years this year and it's been better every year for us, and I hope it's the same for them!
I can't believe it's been 3 months off me being off work - it's certainly not how I had planned on spending my time off from work since we haven't even tried IVF for our final time yet - but in this time, we identified a problem cyst, monitored it and I had surgery to drain March 10, 2011. Now that the cyst has come back (and may or may not still be in there), we're still going to wait until July/August to try IVF with me for the final time. I said to Richard the other day - for the first time ever throughout this entire process, I feel that one more try is the right answer - I don't want to keep pounding my head up against the wall - and quite honestly, I'm not sure how much more disappointment I can take with my own body / going through IVF. I don't want to get another phone call from the doctor that says "I'm sorry Ashley, it didn't work this time...we did everything we could, and it doesn't make sense to us why it's not working." because that's pretty much what it's sounded like all 3 times I've picked up that phone and one of the doctors has been on the other end of the line. Now every time the doctor's office calls, my stomach sinks just a little bit...I just don't like the feeling of such strong disappointment and sadness. I'm ready to try something else - I'm ready to move on - and I'm ready to look back at the IVF portion of the process and say "I gave it everything I had..." - as long as I can say that, I'll be ok and be able to deal with it and cope in my own time.
This time off work has been amazing - it's allowed me to relax, focus on what's truly important in my life & be ready to start back to work with a fresh perspective on my life. I'm someone that believes everything happens for a reason - and while I'm not sure what the reason is for the past 3 months (or years of trying to conceive), I do know that I'm prepared for whatever life throws at me...I'm ready to handle it head on and I can't wait to see what the future holds. I'm someone who truly believes the best of life is in front of me and I try really hard to appreciate that past yet not let it hold me back. I know we probably could've done things a bit differently (all the way back to my ruptured appendix when I was in college), but dwelling on the past doesn't get us anywhere...we have to focus on what we can do in the here/now.
I'm looking forward to going back to work to see everyone & hopefully pick up where I left off in a way...I'm looking forward to seeing what the next year holds for my career, my life outside of work and for our family. Stay tuned!
No comments:
Post a Comment