Had a 9:30 appointment - doctor probably walked in around 10:15 (how do you run so late at 9:30 in the morning I'll never know) - especially when 1 person came into the office after us that had MISSED her appointment that morning...not sure how that works but oh well.
The looked at my uterus, lining, right ovary (10 pre-follicles or whatever they're called) - so far...so good! Then they moved over to the left ovary and bam! "There's your little friend" Dr. Thomas said...I was less than pleased that we had to re-measure that. He said he'd let me move forward with the cyst if my estrogen levels came back below 50 from the lab so they would call me later.
Went out to "Grand Central Station" in the middle of this hallway that has what feels like a million people walking through it and took blood work - I don't like to look when they take blood, and it seemed to take forever today...just wasn't in the mood.
As we walked out I told Richard I'm so over this entire process but maybe the cyst just wants to hang out with my baby when it gets in there this time...it's really the only thing I can do at this point to keep from crying & keep a smile on my face because it's one of those days where I'd like to just cry, scream at everyone in that doctor's office especially for being late on a day that I really didn't want to be there and throw all the medicine at them and use a few choice cuss words that would essentially boil down to screw you and your stupid IVF procedure. I understand it's my choice, and that's why I can't do anything I mentioned in the previous email - maybe it's my body's way of dealing with the fact that I don't want to do this again...even though it's going to suck beyond words if I can't have my own child - at least I can get part of my life back and not have to keep going back to the same doctor's office and waiting and hoping for something that's not going to happen.
That's about all I've got for today - pretty cruddy day, but on the bright side - they did call to say I can start my follistim and antibiotic (both me & Richard) and continue my lupron tonight so here we go...here goes nothing. I'll share sometime soon (maybe tomorrow what all that stuff looks like so you can see the difference in the needles (not much) etc.
Thanks to everyone for the support & love they've shown - it's amazing & what keeps me going, and I mean that...I couldn't do it without everyone being so supportive and only wanting the best for Richard & me.
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